I can't believe it that it has been a year since my last entry. Pardon me for not able to come up with something witty or intelligent to comment. Here goes ... Boy, time do pass fast!
There! Said it.
It has been one year after I tried to fulfill one of my dream that is to travel to Bangkok. Land of the Ah guas and Tom Yum Goong.
Since that I have also done a few things differently. Finally I visited Jen in Japan before she came home to Singapore. Put my hair into long tresses and then chopped it off short by the end of the year. Attended a Halloween party and dressed up as Singapore version of Dorothy from Wizard of Hougang.
I have also gone through some downtime. I suffered from burnout and had (having) mood swings and depression. I think I have gone though life thinking what is life worth living for. I lost interest in things that I enjoyed in the past and developed certain addictions that know that are bad for me; overeating and too much tv.
I lost myself somewhere and I couldn't still find my way back.
I worried myself all the time. I developed anxiety. I am scare of making mistakes that I stopped and stood still. I forgotten how to move, to breathe, to live.
Evert morning is a struggle to come alive. I have things and stuffs that I do not feel grateful for. I feel so sorry for myself. I lamented to myself "why me?" and sometimes "why not me?".
I lost my confidence. My self esteem lowered to levels that fishes don't swim. My self doubt developed a personality of its own. My health is a joke.
I asked myself, will the next year be different? Will it be my turning point?I seriously considered that it will be the same, nothing ever change for me. I don't allow it to change.
I might know a lot that there is to know to solve my situation. But what is stopping me?
